Human
by DigiConjurer
Summary: Human now, Chachamaru finds herself in a familiar place but with something much dark that lurks within the shadows.
1. Chapter 1

Human

Chapter 1, Arc 1

A New Beginning: Of Flesh and Blood

**Disclaimer: I don't own Negima or UQ Holder whatsoever.**

**What the heck has happened to me? **-Chachamaru

She stood in front of the door, waiting. Maybe it was the feeling of Deja Vu that haunted her. She quickly looked down at her hand for what was probably the fourth or fifth time in the past few minutes. Her long green hair trailed down to her waist and her antenna replaced with normal ears.

"It's flesh and blood now, no longer metal and plastic, Chachamaru." She thought and took a step closer to the door. She reached for the door and stopped. Out of the corner of her eye, was a black cat."Here kitty, kitty, kitty." The cat approached her, spitting out a ringing smartphone."You want me to have it?" The Cat nodded and Chachamaru placed the phone in her pockets and headed back towards the door. As she headed that way, some girl with two long orange bangs ran past her and stood at the door.

"You've been standing at that door for the past few minutes, there is no boogeyman on the other side." The Girl explained as Chachamaru watched her."Seriously! I used my Boogeyman-Detecting device to make sure of it!" The Girl's left eye was dark blue and her right eye was green. For some reason, hanging on the top of the bangs was a golden bell. Like Chachamaru, she was dressed in a Mahora Academy uniform.

"Asuna, what the heck are you even talking?!" Chachamaru shouted as Asuna looked at her.

"Who the heck are you?" Asuna shouted, staring at Chachamaru.

"Asuna, don't you remember me?"

"You don't ring any bells in my head."

"Naegi Springfield, does that ring any bells?"

"Nope."

"Well you were a load of help." Asuna then opened the door, allowing the two of them to head inside. Chachamaru looked around. The hallway hadn't changed much, mostly just the walls getting re-textured with stucco. Asuna led her through the familiar hallways to class 3-A.

"I guess this is the place." Chachamaru thought as the two entered the classroom."What happened here?" Instead of the usual thirty-one students, at least half of which were missing.

"Chachamaru Karakuri, you're late." A voice explained and Chachamaru turned. The teacher was a ten year old boy, but not the one she had remembered. He was dressed in gray t-shirt and gray pants. He had short silver hair and emotionless silver eyes.

"i'm sorry, Fate." Chachamaru greeted as Fate looked at her.

"How do you know my name?" Fate accused as Chachamaru took a slight step back.

"We met in Kyoto." Chachamaru added as Fate slapped her.

"Riddle me this batman, what else do you know?" Fate complained, with the usual outcome for doing so.

"How to defend myself." Chachamaru answered and threw Fate against the wall. She then walked to the back of the room and took a seat at a desk.

"Class, feel free to kick this idiot's ass." Fate announced, pointing at Chachamaru.

"Well, you slapped me!" Chachamaru shouted and Fate glared.

"I can easily suspend you for assault on a teacher, remember that." Fate explained as turned to the blackboard.

"You haven't done roll call yet!" A voice shouted and Chachamaru looked around. The voice had come from the youngest girl of the class, Fumika Narutaki.

"Do I have to?"

"Well, do you want to crush some people's hopes?" The Author answered and Fate turned around.

"Sayo Aisaka."

Silence filed the room, not even the crickets buzzed in.

"Ku Fei."

"Here."

"Ako Izumi"

"Here."

"Asuna Kagurazaka."

"Here."

"Misa Kakizaki."

"Present."

"Chachamaru Karakuri."

"Reluctantly present."

"Madoka Kugimiya."

"Here."

"Chizuru Naba"

"Present."

"Fumika Narutaki."

"Here!"

"Akira Okouchi."

"I'm here."

"Zazie Rainyday."

"Present."

"Setsuna Sakurazaki"

"Whatever."

"Do you have a problem with me, Mrs. Sakurazaki?"

"You're a 10 year old."

"And how is that a problem?"

"No."

"Moving on, Mana Tatsumiya."

"Here."

Satsuki Yotsuba."

"Here."

"Finally, Ayaka Yukihiro."

"President!"

"Are you happy now, Author?"

"Yes, but I already was." The Author answered, causing Fate to bang his head against the whiteboard.

"What have I gotten myself into?" Fate thought as he looked at his students."Because its our first day, we will do some bonding activities. Most of the class groaned.

"Why?" Setsuna complained as Chachamaru looked around. To her right, Zazie. And to her left, was an empty desk. Fate then started to babble about how they had to know each other and that kind of stuff. Chachamaru examined her desk. It was one of the few things to keep her busy while the babbling occurred. As she felt around the inside of the desk, her hand rubbed against something that wasn't metal or wood. She pulled it out, revealing a piece of paper.

No matter what, I'll always be there for you. I don't know when I'm coming back, so keep track of Chachazero. You have a long road ahead, so good luck!

P.S. I have left you a present back at our cottage.

-Eva

Chachamaru slipped the paper into her shirt pocket.

"What's on the paper?" Zazie exclaimed as Chachamaru looked at her.

"Why do you give a care?" Chachamaru complained, causing Complaint Girl to appear.

"Why have you appeared?! Zazie accused."You're presence is not welcome near mine!"

"What the hell are you even talking about?!" Complaints Girl asked as her gaze moved back and forth from Chachamaru to Zazie.

"Fake Humans are not welcome to be near me." Zazie clarified and Complaints Girl whacked her a few dozen times."You will both be punished!"

"Good job, you've doomed the both of us!" Chachamaru shouted and looked at Complaints Girl.

"Thankfully, I can teleport away!" Complaints Girl exclaimed and attempted to do so, only for her still be there.

"This time, you'll have to deal with the consequences of your actions." The Author explained as a thick dark red outline appeared around Zazie.

"Time to run." Chachamaru whispered as she got up from her desk.

"Indeed." Complaints Girl remarked as they headed towards the door.

"Where the heck are you going and who the heck is that person with you?" Fate accused as Zazie got up and headed towards them.

"None of your business, teach!" Complaints Girl exclaimed as the three of them ran out of the room.

"Awakening activate!" Zazie whispered, causing a card similar to a pactio card to appear and a beam of dark red light to engulf her.

"I doubt that's good for us at all." Chachamaru responded and Complaints Girl nodded.

"Ya think?" Complaints Girl added as Zazie started to change. Her skin hardened, turning into black scales. She then grew at least a foot and a long black tail grew out. Two dragonic wings grew out of her back and ripped her shirt. Zazie's hips widened and her nails turned into long white claws. To finish it off, two black ram horns appeared in her hair.

"Time for your people to die!" Zazie exclaimed and burned Complaints Girl's cloak."Oopsy."

"That does it." Complaints Girl shouted as she looked down at herself."I don't know what I look like."

"Then let's change that, silly!" The Author exclaimed as Zazie shook her left paw in the air.

"Do we have to?" Zazie accused.

"And screw consistency?" The Author answered and Zazie spewed some more fire out.

"Fine." Zazie remarked."Do your magic. I really don't want to fight a naked girl at the moment.."

Complaints Girl was dressed normally, just a green spaghetti-strap tank top and a green traditional negima-style short skirt. Her skin was slightly tan and her green eyes were filled with happiness and optimism. Compared to some of the other girls, she had a slight bust.

"Did you just use the phrase "Negima-Style"?" Chachamaru accused as she looked at Complaints Girl. Her hair was a mix of dark green and brown, cut short. Attached to the right side of her skirt, was some vine with a metal hook attached.

"Yes, I just did." The Author exclaimed.

"You ready to do this?" Chachamaru asked as Complaints Girl shook her head.

"I still need a name stupid!" Complaints Girl shouted as both Zazie and Chachamaru facepalmed.

"Usagi Renjā." The Author announced."If you don't like your name, just deal with it."

"Somebody is in a bad mood." Zazie added as Chachamaru took an offensive stance.

"Now can we fight?" Chachamaru questioned as Usagi nodded.

"Finally! It only took you about a few decades!" Zazie shouted and Usagi clicked a clicker.

"That's about 11 times you've spoken during this chapter, Zazie." Usagi announced."You've beat your record in the manga!"

"What the heck are you even talking about?" Zazie accused as a bikini clad girl appeared, whispering something into Usagi's ear and disappeared right after.

"Who was that?" Zazie questioned, only for Chachamaru to deliver an uppercut upon her.

"Doesn't matter." Usagi answered and equipped her whip."I was given an explanation. Probably a last explanation I get for a while." She launched her whip out, allowing the hook to strike Zazie.

"Do you absolutely expect that to do much damage to someone like me?"

"Maybe?" Chachamaru answered.

"Absolutely!" Usagi shouted as Zazie banged her head against a convenient wall.

"Your friend really has her expectations a tad bit overly high at the moment." Zazie pointed out, with Usagi now sitting on her head."Are you kidding me!"

"Nope." Usagi answered as she showed off a huge smile.

"You just had all of your godly powers removed from you, and yet yo are now sitting on top of demonic dragon's head." Chachamaru pointed out and was whacked with Usagi's hook.

"We're not going to have that conversation just yet." Usagi explained and arced her whip, causing Zazie to get wrapped up in it.

"Fine." Chachamaru remarked as Usagi jumped off of Zazie, causing Zazie to spin around.

"Enough! No more Mrs. Nice Girl!" Zazie claimed as she flew towards them and started to launch balls of fire at them.

"How does that even make any sense at all? You have barely attacked us at all!" Usagi accused as Chachamaru grabbed her.

"Well, that's rich coming from you." Zazie answered.

"Let's Go!" Chachamaru explained.

"Where to?" Usagi answered.

"To my cottage!"

"The one you shared with the vampire?"

"Yes."

"Darn it!"

"I was hoping we were going to the library!"

"Why?"  
>"I wanted to see if they found any weird-colored ponies down there."<p>

Chachamaru stopped and looked at Usagi.

"You can't really be serious!"

"I am!"

"We can do that later."

"Fine."

After that, it only took them a few minutes to get to the cottage. From the outside, things hadn't changed. The log cabin was still there and in the same condition Chachamaru and Evangeline had left it.

"Nice Place." Usagi remarked as Chachamaru opened the door. Inside, a little doll sat in the middle of the floor. It stood probably six inches, with short light green hair. It was adorned in a black one-piece with a white overturned collar and a cyan tie. Its feet were adorned with black ballet flats and in the place of ears, were antenna similar to the ones Chachamaru originally had. On the doll's back, was a pair of red wings. The two of them took a step forward, causing the eyes of the doll to open and charged straight at them.

"Chachazero, it's me." Chachamaru greeted causing the doll to stop.

"Where's Eva and why have you brought that filth in?" Chachazero accused as Chachamaru and Usagi looked at her.

"I don't know where Eva currently is and that's Usagi Renjā." Chachamaru explained as Chachazero climbed upon her, probably to examine her.

"You're human now." Chachazero pointed out as Usagi looked at her

"Thank you for pointing out the obvious, stupid!" Usagi said and kicked the doll.

"Time for your death!" Chachazero announced and pulled out her oversized sword.

"This can't be serious!" Usagi announced and just stood there, allowing herself to be impaled with Chachazero's blade.

"Well that worked out." Chachazero added as bikini girl appeared in front Usagi's corpse.

"U rolly thot u cood scapo yr ponoshmont thot osily?" Bikini Girl slurred and punched Usagi a few times, which somehow caused Usagi's stab wound to close and return to the living.

"Oh hi, Valia." Usagi greeted as she looked at the girl.

"Dont dow nythong stopid." Valia added and teleported away. Chachamaru headed to the back of the room. Eva's gift for her had to be somewhere, but where was the question. She stopped suddenly and looked ahead.

Eva's Room

Chachamaru, keep out!

"Definitely the place to look." She thought and opened the door up. It was a simple room, just a desk, a bed and a whole lot of stuffed animals and dolls strewn about on the floor. Along the walls, were pictures. Some of just Eva, a few of Eva and Chachamaru, and a whole bunch of class 3-A. She pulled a picture down from the wall. It was one of the last pictures Eva and Chachamaru had taken together. It was recent photo, only taken a few days prior. She stared at it for a few minutes and placed it back on the wall.

"Looking for this?" A voice taunted, causing Chachamaru to turn. Sitting on Eva's bed, was a teenage girl. She looked to be about 15-16. She was dressed in a violet Lolita dress with multiple violet petticoats and violet high heels. Her arms and legs were covered violet fishnet stockings. Her lips were painted the same color that made her knee-high black hair stand out. Attached to her dress, was a pair of butterfly swords. In her hands, was a box.

"Possibly." Chachamaru answered and looked at the girl, who was staring back at her. Carved into her neck, was a small circle with four vertical compass points each with two rhombus in between."Why are you in my master's bedroom?"

"I was checking on you."

"Why?" "Because there is much more going on."

"Huh?"

"Mahora is a much different place then it once was, Chachamaru."

"What do you mean?"

"Find Magia Embrea's Heir and The Warrior without a Gender. They will set you and your classmates on the right path."

"How am I supposed to do that?"

"It will come clear to you soon enough, Chachamaru."

The Girl then vanished with a shower of black smoke and violet particles, causing the box to fall to the ground. Chachamaru slowly approached the box and opened it.

Inside, was a leather-bound tome covered slightly in dust.

"Is this it?" She thought and shook the book a few times. After waiting a few minutes, the dust fell to the ground.

The Beginner's Idiot Guide to Magic

by Christabel Marian

She stared at the book. Eva had wanted her to have this for a reason, but why?

"Chachamaru!" Usagi shouted and Chachamaru then the room, book in hand."Time to fight." She ran up to Usagi, who still had her vine whip hook thing in hand.

"You're right." Chachamaru answered and they headed out, where Zazie waited...

Notes:

This whole story started out as a rewrite of the adopted story My Friend. But, I decided to use the concept as a starting point...


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

And Then The Zombies Attack...

Disclaimer: I don't own Negima.

Why zombies? They're a whole lot better types of undead out there that aren't zombies!"

"What took you two idiots so long?" Zazie accused as Chachamaru glared at her.

"No reason." Usagi answered, Zazie pulling out a black whip.

"That isn't really an answer." Zazie answered and whipped Usagi multiple times.

"Is that seriously the best you got, Zazie?" Chachamaru taunted, flipping through the pages of the spellbook.

"Says the girl not even doing anything to help her partner." Zazie answered, dashing towards her."Rule #1 of battle, Chachamaru. Never give your opponent an opening."

"That's what you think." Chachamaru answered, slamming her fist into Zazie's chest."Practe Bigi Nar Ardescat!" A small flame flew from her finger, hitting Zazie.

"Congratulations, your the Anti-Evangeline now!" Usagi announced, Chachamaru directing a glare at her.

"Not that it means anything." Zazie explained and started to charge up some kind of energy attack. As she was about to release it, faint moans started to come from afar."Just ignore that."

"Sure..." Chachamaru remarked and Usagi approached her.

"All we need to do is point at the book and shout, "awaken!"" Usagi whispered.

"That's all?"

"Yep."

Chachamaru allowed the book to drop to the ground, She and Usagi pointing at the spellbook.

"This won't turn us into bimbos, right?"

"I hope not."

"Awaken!" They both shouted, causing a bright light to surround them. Zazie then attempted to whip them, only for the whip to disintegrate.

"Seriously?" Zazie whispered and just stood there. The moans started to get louder. A few seconds later, the light died down, revealing a very different looking Chachamaru and Usagi. Chachamaru had somehow reverted back to her robot form, antenna instead of ears and now emotionless eyes. But her eyes were now red and her teeth were replaced with metal fangs. She was dressed in a black wide-brimmed pointy witch hat and a black cloak with red ribbon to cinch it up.

"Target found. Initiating takedown and conversion protocols." Chachamaru announced, grabbing onto Zazie.

"A little help here!" Zazie shouted, her glance focused upon Usagi. Her skin was now covered with brown fur, large rabbit-like ears had sprouted from the top of her head. Her hands were now rabbit-like but still able to hold onto the rope of her hook.

"Sure!" Usagi announced and headed over to Zazie and swung her hook at Chachamaru. Instead of the usual metal banging against metal, a geyser of little cute animals appeared, grabbing her.

"Target acquired. Initiating takedown and conversion protocols. "

"Well this is f****** great."

"I have an idea."

"And that would be?"

"We need to get her to make a complaint!"

"Didn't that job was taken from you a few minutes ago?"

"Who cares?"

"Then what?"

"We whack her with something that looks like a bat!"

"That's your big plan?"

"Yep!"

Zazie only glared. It was still better than no plan at all.

"Just do it."

"Awesome!"

Usagi then ran over to the nearest tree, ripping it up and attaching it to her hook.

"Hey, I wasn't done with you!" Chachamaru complained, getting immediately whacked with the tree. "Hey!"

"That's for horses." Usagi explained, whacking Chachamaru with the tree a second time.

"Uh... Usagi?" Zazie questioned as Usagi continued to whack Chachamaru.

"Yeah?"

"I think something is coming towards us!" Zazie shouted and Usagi stopped.

"Obviously!" Usagi answered."Why else would we ignore the obvious moans signifying the coming of undead?"

Chachamaru eyes then reverted back to their normal green color.

"What happened?" Chachamaru asked, picking up the spellbook.

"You went coo-coo for a few seconds." Usagi answered as a mob of people started to approach them.

"Why are there boys in this group? I thought Mahora was an all girl school!"

"Things "change", Chachamaru." Zazie added."Mahora now accepts both sexes."

"Next question, why are they all so pale?" Usagi remarked, pointing at a huge group of girls and guys with skin almost as white as Sayo.

"Probably due to either being dead or it's that time of year." Chachamaru answered and flipped through the spellbook.

'Hi Guys... I mean girls!'

The three of them looked around, searching for the intruder of their minds.

"Show yourself!" Usagi responded and swung the hook around.

'Attack them, my soldiers!'

The "Zombies" locked onto the three of them, approaching at a much faster speed.

"This is just great." Zazie muttered and the three of them ran towards their opponents.

"I call forth a ball of blaze to incinerate my enemies!" Chachamaru chanted, causing a ball of flame to appear. The ball flew past them and into a crowd, burning a few people's facepaint off.

"Well that explains some things."

"Like anyone cared about that question."

"But it's still nice to have something be answered in a relative fashion."

"True."

Usagi threw her hook around, whacking multiple people.

"Guys, I don't think so..."

The skin of the burnt zombies suddenly regenerated and started to move faster.

"Senjin Kokuyouken!"

The sky above them darkened and it started to rain obsidian swords.

'So your teacher has decided to step in. Wonderful, just wonderful.'

"Girls, follow me!" Fate shouted as Zazie, Chachamaru and Usagi returned to normal. They quickly made their way through the mob and over to Fate.

"What do you want now?" Chachamaru accused as Fate examined the three of them.

"What were you two even thinking?!" Fate accused and Usagi laughed.

"What about me?" Usagi shouted and Fate looked at her.

"I have already filled out your transfer into my class, Usagi." Fate explained, glaring at the three of them."Follow me if you don't want death to come for you."

"Oh hi Valia." Usagi greeted and bikini girl walked up them.

"Can you just take her away?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"I have been told to leave her here for her punishment."

"Fine, let's head to the library."

"Can I come?"

"No."

"Fine."

They headed towards the library and Valia teleported away.

"Are there ponies in there?" Usagi asked and Fate facepalmed.

"NO!" Fate answered and opened the doors to the library. Inside, multiple weirdly-colored ponies were lounging around.

"Well I guess you're wrong!" Usagi responded and hooked one of the ponies in. It was one of those dark purple and black colored ponies with tattered black bat wings and a blue frowny face on it back right thigh. "You'll make a perfect pet/companion."

"This is the worst day ever for me." The Pony responded and Usagi pulled out a small stone.

"Can you tie this creature as my companion to me, Fate?" Usagi added as Fate stood there.

"Fine, if it means you won't do anything stupid."

"Awesome!"

"You're too optimistic."

"I don't care."

"Stop squabbling you two." Chachamaru warned and grabbed Usagi.

"Fine." Usagi answered and they headed deeper into the library. Large bookshelves filled to the top with books towered above them.

"How many books are there?" Zazie remarked and Chachamaru looked at her.

"Nodoka is the only one who probably knows that." Chachamaru answered.

"Then where is she, then?" Zazie accused and Chachamaru looked at the ground.

"I don't know, Zazie." Chachamaru answered as they reached a door.

"I'm guessing this is the place." Usagi whispered, Fate casually opening the door. Inside, stood Mana, Setsuna and a chained Asuna. Beside Asuna, was her familiar sword.

"Why do you have Asuna chained in the middle of the room?" Usagi questioned.

"Her magic cancelling barrier still works."

"That's stupid."

"You're right." A voice responded and a small yellow mouse scurried over to them."And yet, neither of them run over to save her."

"Chiu!" Usagi shouted as the mouse turned into a chipmunk giving the middle finger.

"It's Chisame, stupid." The chipmunk explained and looked at the three of them."Worship me."

"No." Zazie answered and Chisame walked over to Asuna.

"You will pick up the sword, Asuna."

"No!" Asuna shouted and pushed the chipmunk away.

"In that case..."Chisame remarked and whistled. A few seconds later, a blonde Mary Sue dressed in a scantily clad outfit appeared."Mary, kick their asses along with the help from the zombie horde."

"With absolute pleasure, mistress!" Mary exclaimed and started to approach Asuna."Sue Punch!" Mary punched at Asuna for a good minute. She only stopped after a bullet whizzed by her head. She then turned, noticing Mana's cocky grin.

"Ooh! An Oxymoron of the holy one is here!" Mary exclaimed and Mana fired off a few more rounds at her. Mary just stood there and allowed the bullets to hit her. "Was that a serious attempt of stopping me?"

"Possibly."

"Are you just going to ignore that plot hint I just made?"

"Yes." Usagi answered and swung her hook into Mary's face and Setsuna charged towards them, sword in hand. Asuna only watched.

"Chachamaru, throw Asuna the book." Zazie explained and Chachamaru nodded.

"Asuna, catch!" Chachamaru threw the book, landing right at Asuna's feet.

"What am I supposed to do with this book of lies?"

"Book of lies?" Chachamaru placed her hand over her face."Just point at the book and shout awaken."

"That's all?"

"Yep."

"Awaken!" Asuna pointed at the book, causing a bright light to surround her. Once the light disappeared, Asuna was now dressed in a white lab coat wielding her usual sword."Super Sciency Sword Thingy!" Attached to the sword, was some weird device.

"Clone Split Slash!" She ran over to Mary and casually slashed her. A few seconds later, a copy of Asuna appeared right beside her and started to slash at her. Asuna continued to slash, causing more clones to appear. While that happened, someone grabbed the book.

"Hey!"

"Sorry about that." The figure then cheerfully glided over to them, handing the book over.

"Hello, Sayo." Zazie opened the book up.

"Awaken!" A similar bright light surrounded Sayo only for it to suddenly darken."Dark Disciple of Suicide!" Sayo was now fully visible, covered in purple slime with dark red eyes

"I don't like the sound of that." Gloomy responded and was suddenly absorbed by Sayo. Usagi then threw her hook at Sayo, only for it to be sent back at her.

"The character in question was part of a onetime joke. Get over it!" Sayo slowly approached Mary and placed her left hand on her causing Asuna, Mana and Setsuna to stop and the Asuna clones to disappear. A few seconds later, Mary was gone and Sayo had taken over her body. Mary's blonde hair darkened to jet black. Her scantily clad outfit was replaced with Sayo's sailor fuku.

"This body will suit me nicely." Sayo's eyes suddenly changed back to normal and looked around in all confusion."What happened to me?"

"Well, you're human now after "killing" Mary the Mary Sue." Chachamaru placed a hand on Sayo's shoulder.

"Oh." She looked down at herself and back up at Chachamaru."More are coming."

"It's time to fight."


End file.
